Of Puns and Promises
by footballprincess
Summary: In which Lee Jordan thinks he's hilarious


**AN: I'm still alive! I wrote this on a whim while I was supposed to be studying for my English exam. I'll update my long stories when summer starts, swear!**

**Special Thanks to some very dear friends for the jokes (I realize they're terrible, that's what makes them awesome. However, if your sense of humor hasn't umm…devolved to the same cheesy level as ours, 1)consider yourself blessed 2) ask me to why it's even funny and I'll explain it and the story behind it if you want. **

**Enjoy!**

There was nothing really dislikable about Lee Jordan. Sure, sometimes he ate his pizza a little messily and sometimes he got too dramatic about Quidditch, but that was only sometimes. He was sarcastic and childish on a daily basis, but then again, so was everyone else. The only thing anyone ever really minded about Lee Jordan was that he thought he was funny.

He would make what he thought were clever puns, eliciting groans from his classmates. He would make snappy comebacks to the prefects that usually landed him in detention. He would tell awful jokes that made everyone want to run their heads through a wall. He would chat up girls with such awful lines they laughed out of sympathy. He would make remarks and laugh to himself and wonder why it was taking everyone else so long to catch on. He would make funny faces and sound effects that once caused a girl to ask if he was feeling all right.

In Lee Jordan's mind, he was the absolute king of funny.

His best friends, the Weasley twins, threw the crusts of their toast at him when he told them that the muggle lawyer's daughter was named sue.

Angelina Johnson, the Quidditch captain, growl-laughed and shoved him so hard he rolled down a hallway upon learning that the Russian man was late to his meeting because he had stopped at Tsarbucks.

Alicia, who never got her feathers ruffled about anything, put her head in her hands when she was informed that Disney characters shopped at a Minnie-Mart.

Terry Boot from his muggle studies class, shook his head very slowly and sadly when he was expected to laugh at the fact that in order to make holy water, one must boil the hell out of it.

Ron Weasley, who was usually up for a good laugh, didn't seem amused at all when Lee explained that a sleepwalking nun was called a roamin' catholic.

Peeves pelted him with spitballs when he heard him divulge that mermaids called one another on shell phones.

Katie Bell rolled her eyes when Lee wanted to know if she was from Paris, and told her that "Eiffel for you"

Despite the fact that barely anyone laughed at his sense of humor, he continued to use it. Not just among his friends, but his professors, too. For example – his reason for failing to understand Hermione's trigonometry books? 'I don't have to be better at maths just 'cos I'm older.' His idea to open a lock? 'Better get Hobbes'

No matter what the situation was, Lee Jordan would find a way to joke about it. (The fact that few people understood it and fewer people laughed was a different matter entirely.) When asked how long he was going to persist in using terrible puns as a daily habit, his answer was 'forever.'

So when Mr. Jordan began thinking about forever in a context that involved a certain young lady, and solicited the advice of his friends, Bill Weasley's advice to him was 'make her laugh.' Fred explained with exaggerated patience that in order to make someone_ laugh_, the joke had to be _funny_.

Lee replied that he had 'funny' under control. Fred shook his head and sighed.

He accomplished quite a lot towards that end in the matter of a few weeks- bought a ring (secretly, of course), arranged a date, pressed his best shirt– everything short of actually doing the thing.

So on what Lee and the boys were referring to as their 'future engagement anniversary,' Lee was frantically brushing his curly hair in front of the mirror, while his friends did absolutely nothing to help his nerves.

"Ok, guys, I'm ready! See you in a bit!" he said, clapping his hands together. Fred and George stumbled over each other to shout last minute advice at him.

He heard a brief something about 'bloody terrible jokes' after the door shut.

(a few minutes later)

"Do you mind if we stop by the general store before we go get ice cream?" Katie asked. "I've got an exam tomorrow and I literally have nothing to write with."

"Sure. Although, Knowing you, you'd manage to get full marks without even writing." Lee teased. Katie was graduating from College this year, and was forever running out of paper, pens, pencils, envelopes, and the like. Lee liked teasing her that even the twins were more organized than her; she would always reply that that wasn't saying much.

"Right, like that's even possible." Katie laughed dryly.

"What? Everyone knows you're brilliant. You're going to graduate at the top of your class! All you'd have to do is walk into the examination hall and announce, 'Professor! I am Katherine-Jane Emily Bell and you know as well as the next man that I'm going to ace this test! So just put in a 100% and let me go out for lunch with my friends, yeah?"

"Would I have to use my full name?" she asked, as if that was the worst part of the plan. "I don't like it much."

"Truth be told, me neither. Particularly your last name." Lee said.

"What?" Katie asked, mildly confused.

"It doesn't sound quite right. You should change it." He suggested, trying to slow his racing heartbeat.

"Change it to what?" she asked. (The smirk on her lips may or may not have been Lee's imagination)

"Jordan." He said simply.

She arched her eyebrow, a smile spreading over her face. "Really? Why Jordan?"

Lee gulped. It was now or never. He concentrated on the mirthful twinkle in her eye as he dropped down on one knee. (In hindsight, he should have picked something else to focus on; looking in her eyes was rather detrimental to his balance and motor skills.) For a fleeting moment, he thought that the ring box had somehow escaped his jacket pocket and flown away or something. After ascertaining that this was not the case, he pulled it out and opened it.

"It's got a ring to it."

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